Saying goodbye is hard. I feel like I’m waiting and waiting for the moment of truth where I actually have to look into their eyes for the last time and say ‘so long, farewell’. Eventually that time will arrive and what will I do? I will stand there like a fool, tears in my eyes, just staring. I have no idea how to say good bye. I wish I didn’t have to.

How can I say thank you to the little girl I have a sisterly affection for or the family that welcomed me into their home….who I ate with every night, who I traveled with, who I laughed with? I have no idea.

How can I say goodbye to the people that introduced themselves to me on my first day of school, who I hiked up a mountain with, who I spent hours talking to but haven’t even begun to really know? How can I say goodbye to the teacher who offered me an outrageous opportunity or the teacher who taught me to love poetry?  How can I say goodbye to people that I may never see again? How can I say goodbye to the people that made these months what they were for me?  How can I say goodbye and also thank you?

“It has been a pleasure to know you.” Not sincere enough.

“I love you; never forget me.” Too dramatic.

“Good luck with everything.”Too brief.

“Words cannot express…” Too cliché.

I can’t come to terms with the fact that in my existence, there will be people who will float into my life with great import, make an extremely strong impression on me, and float away because of distance. Distance is such a curious thing. I think often about how funny it is that I was ever able to meet the people that I met here. I never would have thought, but by a long string of chance events, somehow, we managed to cross paths, and to briefly land on the same cloud.

I let them into my heart because I wanted to know them, because I knew that they had some small, remarkable thing to bring my attention to and I to them, but all the while knowing that I would have to say goodbye very soon. Maybe as I did it, I believed that I would see them again. But how realistic is that really? Is every promise I make an empty room?

“Sure, let’s meet up in Greece!”

”Holland next summer!”

“You’re welcome in my home anytime.”

“I’ll write to you once a week.”

“You would love my brother. I’ll set you up with him if you come to the states.”

If I have made such an impression on them that they will remember me, their memory won’t be the last thing I said to them, or the look in my eye. I suppose, they’ll remember me by the time that we shared. As will I.

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